Raymond Towers’ Preferred Method Of Vampire Creation

Circa 2014-15, I went looking for a plausible, pseudo-scientifically sound way of creating fresh vampires for one of my novels. I wasn’t taking detailed notes back then like I do today, so I can’t source this, but I did notice a correlation between vampire creation and real-life zombie creation in voodoo practice. After combining what I had researched from both sides, I came up with a formula, which you are free to use in your own vampiric writings. This was before Giant Trees Theory, mind you, so if you figure in a greater amount of oxygen available on Earth, an element included in my Method… Well, don’t try this at home!

The novel is titled The Black Rose, and it’s on Smashwords!



Step 1. Find a suitable subject. This method is not recommended for nagging housewives and their mother-in-laws, because you have enough problems with them as it is.

Step 2. Obtain a mild, or watered down version of zombie powder to induce a catatonic state. Zombie powder, available at your local voodoo shop, contains one or more of the following: ground up poisonous frogs, toads, and puffer fish. This is combined with certain plant extracts, ground up glass and human bone. Do Not Use this zombie powder in its regular strength, otherwise a zombie will be created, and not a vampire.

Step 3. Have the subject reach a state of mild dehydration by abstaining from drinking and eating for a day or two. This is to increase the amount of protein in the blood.

Step 4. For increased shock factor and / or aesthetics, you may perform a ritual in which actual blood may be imbibed. The blood may be taken from a normal human or a dehydrated human, and it would be best if the subject is willing … and alive.

Step 5. Ask the subject to lie down in a box large enough for them to fit in. Once the subject is comfortable, the box is to be filled with bits of rubber, broken glass, and if available, pith. (Look that last one up. It comes from the tiny center of a tree or the white portion of citrus fruit, just below the peel.) This material will build up the electrostatic charge around the subject.

Step 6. Have several people shuffle around the box with the subject inside of it, to promote the static charge into an electrostatic field. To further sensationalize things, instead of a simple shuffle this can be stylized into an elaborate dance involving masks, hooded robes, or even feathers. A laboratory able to reproduce an electrostatic charge is favored over a woodsy setting, but is of course detrimental to the sinister atmosphere of a cave, crypt or secluded grove. It is hoped that enough of an electrostatic charge will be produced as to cause the DNA of the subject to vibrate and evolve into a more primeval state, when mankind was much taller, faster, stronger and more oxygenated than it is in modern times.

Step 7. Expose the subject to direct sunlight as much as possible. Electromagnetic radiation will greatly speed the process along.

Step 8. After three days, wake the subject and study them while keeping a safe distance away. If they have a tremendous headache, act more like a zombie than a vampire, or don’t wake up at all, the entirety of these steps may have to be repeated with a new test subject. If they are ravenous for blood to stabilize their depleted blood cells, you have successfully created a vampire. Congratulations!

Be sure to keep an extra pint of fairly fresh, pure blood (vegan works best) nearby to replenish your vampire’s thirst for it. Since our sun has changed much since the Biblical days of giants, the vampire will continually want to revert to his or her former self, because the present radiation from our sun cannot maintain the changed DNA of the vampire. The addition of fresh blood on a regular schedule will ensure that the antibodies in your vampire’s blood have new cells to react with, because stagnation is what causes vampire blood cells to deteriorate. Fresh blood replenishes your vampire’s superhuman agility and strength, especially if the person who donates the blood is in robust physical condition.

Smashwords Read An Ebook Week, March 5th Through 11th

From March 5th through 11th, Smashwords is having their Read An Ebook Week promotion. All of my titles will be reduced by 50%, with a few prices dropped so low they’re ending up at FREE! That’s 30 titles you can stock up on!

A breakdown of what’s available:

The Case Of The Missing Q-Drives – 99 cents!

The Throwback – $1.49

Verum Et Inventa Magazine – all eight issues, always FREE!

The World Changers – $2.99

Roaches In The Attic 2 – Independence – $2.99

Inspired By M.C. – $3.49

The Weeping Thing – 99 cents!

The Zombie Seven 1 – Hell’s Gate, And Beyond – $4.49

Raymund & Natalie’s Grand Adventure – $2.99

Before The Seven 2 – Scary Peter – $2.99

Thorns – True Tales Of The Weird – $2.49

Monster Mayhem – $2.49

Apocalypse Now! – $2.99

Roaches In The Attic 1 – First Contact – $3.99

The Black Cellar – $3.49

Dobrynia’s Path 2 – Ragnarok – $2.99

Before The Seven 1 – Don Diego Meets Lucky Luis – $2.49

Dobrynia’s Path 1 – Dark Harbinger – $2.49

The Two Sides Of Humburg – FREE

A Terrible Thing To Waste – $2.49

Demonic Murmurs – $2.49

Two Bedroom Cottage For Rent – FREE

Variant Worlds 1 – $2.49

Roaches In The Attic 0 – Non-Retrieval – FREE

NPC Archivist: City Guard Vs Jester On Siege Tower

You just know the comments are going to be good on this one.


Descrip: Imagine what dark, skooma-infested Dwemer ruin this NPC found this device in. Just like other Dwemer automatons, it continues to function, completely unaware that their creators have long since disappeared…

Steve is not the hero we deserve, but he is the one that they need. – markfrank3307

Definitely Dwemer tech, however I’m far more interested in the vintage ale he had with him. Looked like special reserve from a far off land. – crazyworld54321

He has the high ground in any given situation – banjofett3949

And this is how Steve became a legend. – mrboriquia2000

Shit happens all the time in Markarth. – shaydenismat7786

Was that some sort of levitation spell that he cast upon the carriage? – syoung1908

NPC Archivist: Mage Casts Cold Spell On Weary Carriage Travelers

it’s been a slow day, but this one had me rolling.


Descrip: Such a shame to see such arcane skills put to waste. Despite being at the top of his class at the college, this NPC can be seen using his arcane abilities for wanton chaos and evil. When encountering an unhinged wizard such as this, it’s best to steer clear if you’re under leveled…

Update: I had time to come back and add some YT comments. Priceless!

They should never have started admitting Redguards into the Mages Guild – Geost85

I am so sick of our beautiful Tamriel being ruined by untrained Redguards. – MrEastonMurphy

I believe that is a protection spell but he’s transmuted it into destruction – Hoady101

What a hero, he put the fire out on that heated debate. – Warpath3758

Those NPCs sitting down were very slow to react. Their Speed attributes would have probably been under 10. The mage probably cast a Damage Attribute spell on them to slow them down. – Caleb Steele

Why cant Redguards let the Nords live peacefully? – Goomba1982

Cone of Cold : A blast of cold air erupts from your hands. Each creature in a 60-foot cone must make a Constitution saving throw. A creature takes 8d8 cold damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A creature killed by this spell becomes a frozen statue until it thaws. – MikeCronis

The way the dog was looking at the extinguisher tho . – Known Character Man

NPC Archivist: Border Skirmish – Defender Vs Bandit

Use your imagination a little bit, and you’ve got a horde of opportunistic raiders carrying out multiple attacks against the armed and angry settlers.


This is one of the best NPC duels I’ve seen in a while. A true spectacle, showcasing their clear mastery of the blade. Most definitely not the ideal NPC to encounter with an under-leveled character.. tread lightly my fellow adventurers.

Inspired By M.C. – short story collection now available

Recently re-released and reformatted. This collection of short stories, novellas and poetry spans a number of genres, including fantasy, horror, science fiction, humor and erotica. The collection is currently available for $6.99 at Smashwords.

About this title: This is a collection of my artistic, romantic impressions, inspired from dialog with my female pen pal M.C. There is a broad range to these stories, including fantasy, horror, humor, science fiction and erotica. For a time, my entire perspective revolved around this singular woman. Da Vinci had his masterpiece in Mona Lisa, and in a similar vein I have mine in M.C. Rating: HIGH controversy.

This title’s page on Smashwords.

An excerpt from The Black Rose, included in this collection:

My dreams haunt me, of her. For weeks now, I have been having them. I have seen her everywhere in my house: on the porch during the morning hours, through the windows on both floors and in the various dark corners of the house during the day. Most recently, she has appeared at the foot of my bed, in the heart of the previous night.

So often have I seen this phantom, that I can now describe her with the utmost accuracy. She can’t possibly be of a higher stature than one or two inches past five feet. Her hair is fairly long, but I have not seen it in its entirety and therefore I cannot be completely certain. Her hair is either a very dark brown or as black as pitch, as are her eyes.

Those eyes, they pierce through me like daggers.

Definitely, her features are Spanish. With the slight upturn of her chin, she reminds me much of the regal portraits I have seen of that country’s queens and princesses. Her nose is pleasant enough, her lips sensual and thick, her jowls fleshy and soft, and her bosom prominent. Always, she is enrobed in a long and flowing gown of white, which seems to flow of its own accord, even when there is no breeze to taunt and stir up against it.

Were I any lesser man, or is it one less foolish, undoubtedly my house would already stand vacant. Alas, I have neither the relatives willing to take me in, nor the funds for me to procure a new place of residence. Any ideas of my departure most closely resemble a wingless fowl attempting to take flight. Ha!

My resolve has always been to remain here, in order to confront this enticing demoness that has chosen to plague me, if indeed a demoness it is…