Circa 2014-15, I went looking for a plausible, pseudo-scientifically sound way of creating fresh vampires for one of my novels. I wasn’t taking detailed notes back then like I do today, so I can’t source this, but I did notice a correlation between vampire creation and real-life zombie creation in voodoo practice. After combining what I had researched from both sides, I came up with a formula, which you are free to use in your own vampiric writings. This was before Giant Trees Theory, mind you, so if you figure in a greater amount of oxygen available on Earth, an element included in my Method… Well, don’t try this at home!
The novel is titled The Black Rose, and it’s on Smashwords!
Step 1. Find a suitable subject. This method is not recommended for nagging housewives and their mother-in-laws, because you have enough problems with them as it is.
Step 2. Obtain a mild, or watered down version of zombie powder to induce a catatonic state. Zombie powder, available at your local voodoo shop, contains one or more of the following: ground up poisonous frogs, toads, and puffer fish. This is combined with certain plant extracts, ground up glass and human bone. Do Not Use this zombie powder in its regular strength, otherwise a zombie will be created, and not a vampire.
Step 3. Have the subject reach a state of mild dehydration by abstaining from drinking and eating for a day or two. This is to increase the amount of protein in the blood.
Step 4. For increased shock factor and / or aesthetics, you may perform a ritual in which actual blood may be imbibed. The blood may be taken from a normal human or a dehydrated human, and it would be best if the subject is willing … and alive.
Step 5. Ask the subject to lie down in a box large enough for them to fit in. Once the subject is comfortable, the box is to be filled with bits of rubber, broken glass, and if available, pith. (Look that last one up. It comes from the tiny center of a tree or the white portion of citrus fruit, just below the peel.) This material will build up the electrostatic charge around the subject.
Step 6. Have several people shuffle around the box with the subject inside of it, to promote the static charge into an electrostatic field. To further sensationalize things, instead of a simple shuffle this can be stylized into an elaborate dance involving masks, hooded robes, or even feathers. A laboratory able to reproduce an electrostatic charge is favored over a woodsy setting, but is of course detrimental to the sinister atmosphere of a cave, crypt or secluded grove. It is hoped that enough of an electrostatic charge will be produced as to cause the DNA of the subject to vibrate and evolve into a more primeval state, when mankind was much taller, faster, stronger and more oxygenated than it is in modern times.
Step 7. Expose the subject to direct sunlight as much as possible. Electromagnetic radiation will greatly speed the process along.
Step 8. After three days, wake the subject and study them while keeping a safe distance away. If they have a tremendous headache, act more like a zombie than a vampire, or don’t wake up at all, the entirety of these steps may have to be repeated with a new test subject. If they are ravenous for blood to stabilize their depleted blood cells, you have successfully created a vampire. Congratulations!
Be sure to keep an extra pint of fairly fresh, pure blood (vegan works best) nearby to replenish your vampire’s thirst for it. Since our sun has changed much since the Biblical days of giants, the vampire will continually want to revert to his or her former self, because the present radiation from our sun cannot maintain the changed DNA of the vampire. The addition of fresh blood on a regular schedule will ensure that the antibodies in your vampire’s blood have new cells to react with, because stagnation is what causes vampire blood cells to deteriorate. Fresh blood replenishes your vampire’s superhuman agility and strength, especially if the person who donates the blood is in robust physical condition.